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Neri's Unconventional Workout Leads to Disastrous Results Wednesday, January 7th , 2099 Cleveland's RP, Ernesto Neri, has always been the type to try new things. When a renowned TV spokesperson approached him regarding a new offseason training regimen, Neri found it hard to refuse. "It sounded great to me on the surface," he said, looking back on the sales pitch. Dubbed as "LeanGreen" by the company, the workout consisted of minimal weight-lifting and a diet of only green foods, taken alongside a myriad of unidentified "cleansing pills." With hefty promises of purging his body of "evil fats and toxins", the 27-year old came to find that the opposite proved to be true. In a recent interview, manager Isaiah Batts grumbled over his player's indiscretions. "The kid's got a good heart but sometimes he can be a real bonehead. Never in my life have I heard of anything like this happening." Meanwhile, Neri has taken a more realistic view for next off-season. "Yeah, I'm definitely just going to stick with my old workout routine. As they say: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I don't know what I was thinking." The makers of LeanGreen couldn't be reached for comment. |
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